people who don't put on their big girl panties and deal

How to stop annoying Misanthropster in two easy steps.

1. Make the best of the situation. If you can't, just revel in the fact that your fingernails are not being pulled out one by one in a torture chamber by Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS. See, there's a plus right there. I gotta go back to the same thing I've quoted a few times since I started this blog. "You took the air, you took the time, you were fed, and you were free... you'd better put some beauty back, while you've got the energy..."

2. Quit whining.

people who... well... just people

I'm tired of working as part of a "team" in the main focus of the individual members of the "team" is their own personal gain and they could give a shit about anything other than their own greed.

I'm tired of being the team leader.

I'm tired of fucking prima donnas who have absolutely no right to be prima donnas.

I'm tired of dealing with customers.

I'm tired of working in jobs that keep me entertained for about a year before I get really good at them and then they lose all interest or challenge for me.

I'm tired of dealing with people who feel like it's necessary to degrade others to make themselves feel better.

I'm tired of living in this area.

Blah.

people who hate John Mayer

Ok, yes, I'll admit it. He is evil. And bland. But evil is bland.

Anyway, he's a bland evil genius. Or a evil bland genius.

And I'm so glad he's not dating Jessica Simpson.

HIs songs that have become famous are completely insidious. Sneak into your brain and you'll find yourself humming the chorus without knowing what's going on.

And he does have talent. He manages to make really interesting stuff bland and palatable to the masses.

That said, I have all of his albums.

Sigh.

people who hate Dr. Phil

Ok, so this might be a highly unpopular post, but I have to say that people who hate Dr. Phil just need to check themselves...

He's brilliant. He comes up with the most creative ways of saying "Fuck you," "Put on your big girl panties and deal," and, "wow, you're a fucking moron" that I've ever heard/read.

Yeah, he sucks on TV and listening to his voice is incredibly annoying, but I never fail to get a deep guffaw and an "Oh, SNAP" going when I read his column in the O Magazine.

Yes, that's right, I read "O." Get over it. I have an addiction. Leave me alone. I also read about 20 other magazines a month. "O" happens to be the most intelligent women's mag out there. Well, mass market women's mag...

Anyway, if I didn't read "O," then how else would I get my monthly Dr. Phil fix?

In the December issue of "O" somebody wrote in complaining about her mother in law saying awful things to her like "I can't believe you wear striped tops so often, since they emphasize your middle." etc.

Dr. Phil's response:

Your mother in law is a mean old bitch and you need to stop being so whiny.

Well, I paraphrased. Just a little.

He's so great.

people who are cruel to animals

It's taken me quite a while to be able to deal with this enough so that I could post about it.

But basically, some dude in Loudon County, VA threw his girlfriend's 14-year-old declawed cat in a trash can and then stomped it to death.

The guy claimed self-defense. Fortunately the judge convicted the asshole, and he went to jail. For the requisite two minutes that the state of Virginia requires.

In cases like this, I really wish we had eye-for-an-eye punishment laws in this state.

thank you, CEO

people who make slutterwear for pre-schoolers

I didn't think I'd have this problem until my daughter was in the first grade, at least.

But geeze, have you seen the clothes that some of these companies are putting out for little girls? Christ, we are turning into a nation of pedophiles?

I've had to somehow resist buying off the shoulder tops for my one year old. Like she needs to pull off the whole flashdance look.

And the midriff bearing spangly shit that's out there at the moment? For winter?

Oy. I'm sure that if I were my husband I'd illustrate this post with lots of pictures of particularly horrendous clothing for kids, but I'm lazy, so that's not going to happen.

I'll just leave you with the thought that Abercrombie & Fitch has been selling thongs for 9-12 year old girls.

Because god knows, when creepy old guys are staring at their asses, they don't want to see tacky panty lines.

no, I'm not leaving y'all yet. I still have ranting to do.

My friend Clover (see blog link at left) was writing about exceedingly scantily clad teenagers on Halloween night. Which, honestly, I never saw when I was in high school. I think all of our parents would have seriously strangled us if we walked out looking like hookers. And I'm SURE that somebody would have called our parents if we were trying to sneak that shit. And we would have been grounded. Or at worst, sent to the Catholic school that my husband went to. (That's another post. He's snobby about his school being better than the public school system that I went to. I'm snobby about his school because that's where all the kids who were expelled from my school got sent. Heh)

But now, apparently, we're encouraging girls to dress like this? At exceedingly young ages? And people still act shocked at the amount of makeup that Jon-Benet Ramsey was wearing. Come ON. Let's not sexualize our little girls. Or boys for that matter. Ugh.

people who promote intolerant bullshit in their front yards

So a bunch of my neighbors have signs in their yards that read:


Vote Yes For Marriage
Marriage = One Man + One Woman


Thank you, Seth McFarlane, for pointing out this evening on American Dad that gays are the new blacks.

Why is it acceptable to be so friggen bigoted towards a huge portion of our population? Argh.

And as my dear husband said this evening, gays have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.

Thanks, honey.


Anyway, he and I are contemplating going out tonight with a sharpie and amending the signs to read "Vote yes for ^Gay Marriage"

heh.

people who obsess about q-tips

My dear husband, who shall remain nameless has a slight problem.

Now, honestly, if this is the only thing he ever really gets in a froth over during the course of our marriage, I think we're doing pretty well.

Anyway, the problem is that he is completely and utter irrational when we start getting low on q-tips.

When our old roommate moved out, my husband said something to the effect of "Good, now we won't have to support his q-tip habit anymore."

Mind you, we have to buy q-tips about three times a year, no matter how many people live with us.

Then, the next time we ran out of q-tips my husband came at me. "HOW many q-tips do you use in a day? Because you only need one, two at the very most. I mean, are you using them to put on makeup? What's going on here?"

Yesterday, we had a few q-tips left. Less than 10, but more than one.

And I got this rant about my sister in law (who is currently living with us):

"We had a ton of q-tips when she moved in. She's eating us out of house and home and using up all of our q-tips."

I confronted my husband regarding his rage over q-tip usage this afternoon.

I don't think he believes me.

I shall chronicle the next rant as it happens.