people who won't shut up

So a couple of weeks ago, I was at Wal-Mart right before we were supposed to have an enormous rain storm, and there were lines going to the back of the store. Everybody in the general area was buying milk, bread and toilet paper because this was supposed to be a really bad... RAIN storm.

C'mon peoples. Rain? And you're buying Wal-Mart out of toilet paper, bread and milk? Whatevah.

Anyway, as I was standing there with my child and my cart full of milk, bread and toilet paper (just kidding. I was buying the kid baby tylenol because she was sick) and this girl walks up in line behind me and starts yattering on about absolutely nothing. So I successfully tuned her out.

Then I hear, from Miss Yatter, "Oh my goooooooooooooooooooduh, hey's got a snahykuh."

Yeah, she had the local accent. In fact, she is the fucking archetype of the local accent. So I'm standing there in line trying to figure out exactly what kind of animal a snahykuh was. I was about to ask, when I notice that a guy a couple of people ahead of me in line has a small snake wrapped around his hand.

Ok, so for those of you who might not get it, snahykuh = snake.

Right.

For the next five minutes I hear "He's got a snake? Do you see that? He's got a snake wrapped around his hand. A snake! That's so gross." She then taps me on my shoulder. "Ma'am, he's got a snake. Do you see that? A SNAKE, wrapped around his hand."

Yup, I see it. Couldn't miss it.

Then the guy up ahead turns around and he's got a huge python/boa constrictor/I don't know what kind of snake it was but it was really fucking huge wrapped around his torso underneath his jacket.

"HE'S GOT TWO SNAKES! OH MY GOD, HE'S Got TWO SNAKES!!!!" Taps me on my shoulder again. "Ma'am, you'd better keep your baby away from him, he's got two snakes!"

Her friend walks up to her and points out that her cell phone is ringing. The snake girl says that she doesn't want to answer it because she's too distracted by the snakes.

I've gotta say, I wish there were some sort of award for the number of times a person can fit a single word into conversation in a 20 minute span. She'd be the clear front runner.

Honestly, at this point, I cannot think the word "Snake" without saying it in her accent.

And yes, I did listen to her go on and on about the goddamn snakes for 20 minutes.