people who think they have something important to say

and don't, actually.

(Cara and Phil, please forgive me for this blasphemy regarding your nuptials.)

So I went to a wedding last night. The bride and groom... we'll call them "Cara" and "Phil" are both good friends of mine. In fact, I introduced them to each other. So yeah, I'm the responsible party.

Anyway, the pastor that was performing the bulk of the ceremony kept calling "Cara" Carrie. Her name is Cara for god's sake, get it right!

And he made some remarks, as I suppose pastors are supposed to do during weddings. His began with "Do y'all know what this is?" (he holds up a pen.) "It's a pen. I know y'all know what a pen is." (um, yeah, dumbshit, we do) "Now, when Carrie called me and told me that she and Phil were getting married I asked her 'Now, Carrie, should I write this on my calendar in pen or in pencil.' and she said pen. So this is the very pen that I wrote this date down on my calendar with." (he then spent 10 fucking minutes going on and on about how he writes his schedule. Thanks for the info, dude.) "Carrie and Phil, I hope that your love and marriage lasts as long as the ink I wrote this date down on my calendar with does."

Yeah. I really hope that was a waterproof archival pen.

Seriously though, he could find something a little bit... um... oh, I don't know, more intelligent to say about the couple? Anything? Was he just using that as filler? Did he become a pastor just to hear himself talk?

Although, honestly, that isn't the worst thing I've ever heard said by a pastor at a wedding. All in all it was a lovely wedding. I'm happy. And, after years of speculation by all that knew him, Phil is apparently not gay. This is a good thing for Cara.

:)