people who reach the age of 50 with not a shred of self-awareness

I think I said it all in my title.

It depresses me that you can live for 50 whole years and still not be able to fucking look at one's own position in the world and go "Hmm... maybe there's all this drayma around me because it's ME!"

or

"Gee, I keep losing friends and having coworkers get pissed at me. Maybe I need to change something."

This seems to be at the root of my disappointment with humanity. That somehow I was holding out hope that there was this mystical tribe of really cool older people that had their shit together and could, you know, say wise stuff and help you through your problems and all.

Instead there seems to be this tribe of really self-involved older people with absolutely no self-awareness who are causing problems and going through shit that I left behind in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.

It depresses me that people can die from old age and be stupid at the time of their death.

A table ad at Red Robin (yeah, I went there) summed it up for me. It said "Do lots of interesting things while you have the chance. It increases the likelihood of your becoming a pleasant old person."

Or something along those lines.

Ani DiFranco said something interesting in a song about aging and pleasantness.

"who are these old old old people
in these nursing homes
scowling away at nothing
like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls
and pulling out all of their stuffing
every day is a door leading back to the core
yes, old age will distill you
and if you're this this this full of bitterness now
some day it will just fill you

when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair
so renovate your soul before you get too old
cuz you're gonna be housebound there"

(from Back Back Back)


yeah... well, as she also said in that song, you'd better put some beauty back, while you've got the energy...