Misanthropster: An Army of One

Those I revile today are...

03 January, 2007

people who love "March of the Penguins"

Yeah, penguins are cute and cuddly and blah blah blah, they waddle, the males hatch the eggs, blah blah.

Look people, March of the Penguins was a fucking penguin snuff film.

I don't really give a shit about the beauty of the cinematography, or Morgan Freeman's narration (which, by the way, in the lovingly filmed and TORTUROUSLY screened penguin death scenes, made me want to kill myself), (as my husband says "Get busy waddlin' or get busy dyin'."), or the sweetness of the penguins themselves, or the gay penguin sex, or whatever... if you want to see some cold, hard, penguin deaths, then this is the flick for you.

COME ON! Why the hell was this film so popular?

And because my little daughter has a mild obsession with penguins, I decided to watch it with her.

thank GOD she isn't old enough to understand that the penguin that looked like it was asleep on screen was actually freezing to death before our very eyes.

Or that those gorgeous shots of the lone penguin waddling off into the sunset were of a bird separated from its flock and was in fact waddling off to a certain death.

At however many godforsaken degrees below zero that fucking continent is.

yes, I am glad that she wasn't old enough to understand any of this when we watched it.

That would have made for a merry fucking christmas indeed...

I'd ask what kind of sick fucks liked this film, but then again, I can't really account for the immense popularity of hot animal sex shows on The Animal Planet, so I'm not even going to think about it.

I'm just going to drink myself into oblivion.

Happy fucking new year.


Blogger mist1 said...

I wasn't going to rent it until you said snuff film.

1:27 AM  
Blogger Mrs Pinchloaf said...

You could've at least said "spoiler alert." I got that DVD from Pinchloaf's parents LAST Christmas and haven't watched it yet. Now there is absolutely no need to. Way to ruin everything, ruiner.

8:17 AM  
Blogger FL said...

That´s an interesting perspective.

4:28 PM  
Blogger The CEO said...

You know penguin tastes exactly like chicken when you fry it.

It is so good to have you back. Happy fucking New Year.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Pickled Olives said...

hmmm, sounds like the kind of movie to get when the inlaws visit!!!!! HFNY to you too!

9:15 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I have a longstanding fetish for penguins. They seemed to be more popular last year, though, when the movie came out.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Fredwardly said...

Perhaps this is more your speed: Farce of the Penguins.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Judith said...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0488539/ you might enjoy this one more

8:05 AM  
Blogger Judith said...

ahh shite I didnt scroll completely down to see that someone recommended it before me..

8:06 AM  
Blogger Goncalo Veiga said...

"People who don't update their blogs?!" :p hehe

2:08 PM  
Blogger August said...

This post is hysterical.


1:05 PM  
Anonymous Fredwardly said...

OK, it's been a year. POST SOMETHING already! :)

9:02 PM  

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