people who get freaked out that the song "Ironic" doesn't actually have any irony in it

Okay, I was listening to the song "Ironic" again today (shut up--it's not popular anymore, so it's now officially cool.). While listening, I remembered all the bitching about how the song didn't really contain any irony. Most of said complaining came from irritating-ass academics who felt that Alanis Morisette didn't really know what irony was. (For more on said irritating-ass academics, see earlier posts.)

Okay, first off, we need to talk about poetic license. Let me use another example to clarify this: Elvis wasn't really suggesting that his acquaintance was "nothing but a hound dog." In this case, Elvis was using two techniques. The first was hyperbole, in which the author exaggerates certain elements, and the second was metaphor, in which the author compares two unlike things for explanatory purposes. Similarly, Morissette was using "ironic" loosely, and investing in the same creative freedom that Elvis used.

Second, what kind of over-intellectualizing turd actually critiques a song in a pseudo-academic manner? Seriously, don't you deadweights have anything better to do? Couldn't you find a Joan Didion book to slobber over or a Hemingway short story to demonize? Margaret Atwood, where are you when we need you?!? I know that it's hard to be an English professor; hell, I've walked a mile in those shoes. However, if you really want to get your name in the papers, do it like everybody else--shoot up a day-care center, or blow up an abortionist.

Third, come on! It's a fucking song! Give Morisette a break!